1: When the Brewer understood the yeast and that there was a diversity thereof, 2: The brewer did decide that he should first make use of the yeast that lay atop the wort, 3: that which enjoyed warm and temperate clime, and would yield forth what he called "Ale" 4: Ale being the oldest form of beer now known the progenitors not withstanding and shall here after have their own tales.
5: for it came to pass the the brewer did look upon the wort and cast thereto a raft of yeast 6: and the air in the brewery was warm and moist. 7: Behold the brewer was shocked with fright at the froth and foam. 8: He did resist tasting for he had a hunch he was on to something. 9: yea did he lay a cloth across the top of the vessel. 10: for he had cats and dogs and children and all manner of bugs squirrels, snakes, lizards, scorpions, and other denizens of the world within his home.
11; the brewer did watch his solution for many days, 12: but he grew then lazy in his attention and many weeks did pass. 13; when at last the Brewer did espy a feline stalking then a mouse upon the cover he did remember himself. 14: as the cat did leap then so leapt the Brewer, 15; as the rodent was clasped within it's mortal strike, so the cat was upended by the Brewer. As cat and mouse were cast aside they as the almighty had intended, it revealed an Ale unto the Man. 16; for in their grasp they took the cover and the first aroma of Beer was revealed unto the Brewer.
18: flat and dark was this first ale. 19: a tribute to its maker and a gift from on high. 20: the Brewer sampled of it, then sampled again, then drank fully of it's flavor. 21: The brewer raced out into the town and cried "Come my friends it is Beer!"
22: The Men and women of the town turned out and drank deeply of this first and foremost beer. 23: they drank and laughed, and they became one with the spirit as we now call inebriation. 24: They drank and fought and round the town there was much rejoicing. 25 at long last the cask was emptied and they slept.
26: when they woke they wished to seek the brewer, not to help him but to hang him. 27: theirs was the firsrst and therefore the worst and most unexpected of the wrath of beer. 28: to them was given the first hangover. 29: they were naught in amusement and it is only the pain in their heads, 30: and the ache int their gut that prevented the death of the brewer.
31: such was not the lot of the first who did not regret, 32: for him who rose at dawn after drinking deeply, 33: for he who said "good morning neighbor!" 34: there was naught but woe. 35: when the sotted masses had finished with him he was weary of his state. 36: he then said, "what ever you all just need to chill." 37: thus then was the first great hangover concluded.
